February 02, 2006
Today Is The Day
Today is The Day. I'm doing amazingly well. And hoisting a glass.
We still miss you.
January 25, 2006
To life! L'chei-im!
Yesterday, we went to the doctor. For those not keeping score at home, the missus is 10 weeks pregnant. This will be our first child, though she had a miscarriage last January which was really hard on both of us.
With the use of a fetal doppler, we heard the heartbeat of our tinly little offspring in the making. Once there's a heartbeat, the odds of a miscarriage drop considerably. Hearing that sound at 175 B.P.M. was the most comforting sound I've heard in quite a while. I wish I had my iRiver with me to record it.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I've been crying off and on like a little girl because I'm so happy and relieved that things are going well. Up until this point, I haven't been letting myself get too attached or excited, but now. . . Holy cow.
That's about all I can say - holy cow.
Well, that's all I can say right now. You can be assured I'll talk much more about it in the coming months.
Today, I hoist a glass of Jameson's Irish Whiskey in honor of an absent friend, Michael Massing on what should have been his 31st birthday. He may not have been my 'best friend,' but he was one of the best people I've ever known. I believe it correct usage to say he was a true mentch.
Here's to you, Mikey.
It's no coincidence Junior's middle name will be Michael or Michaela, but the timing of these two events is amazing.
L'chei-im!
February 03, 2005
One Year
One year ago this morning, I woke up and checked my e-mail before work like usual. But as early as 6:30 a.m., my day stopped being usual. I read the worst e-mail message I have yet to receive. It was such a shock, I had to have my wife read it, too, and even then we couldn't believe it.
A day later I wrote the following to my coworkers. To date, it's the most coherent summary I think I've come up with for "Mikey."
Friends at [workplace],
As I'm sure you are all aware by now, A. and I lost a very dear friend on Monday night. He was killed in a hit-and-run accident on I-90 during the snowstorm. The best details we have at this time are from here: http://www.nbc5.com/news/2814094/detail.html
Michael Massing was one of the best people we knew - a truly great, funny, warm, compassionate, caring human being who only had 29 years with which to make countless friends. We sometimes joked that he was the 'Golden Retreiver' of our group of friends, because he was always cheerful, always happy to see you and always could make you smile. To know him was to have an instant friend. I'm blessed to have known him for 10 years.
Ok, I don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm at a loss. There is nothing to say. The words don't do anything but mark the day. Mark a day we all wish had never happened.
I'm tired. I'm tired of all of this. We all are.
January 21, 2005
Another Breakdown
It hit me again today. There are a lot of reasons.
His 30th birthday should be next Tuesday. I've been working with some others on a secret project to try to mark that event, but it's slow, frustrating going, and I have literally been losing sleep over it. Lots of it, so that doesn't help, obviously.
In working on this 'thing,' I've maintained a cool distance from the emotional significance of what I've been doing and why - like a surgeon operating on his or her own child, perhaps. You know it's going to hit you like hell later, but for now, you get through what has to be done. Well it hit me today.
On my drive in to work, I was feeling pretty nostalgic in general. A B-52's song reminded me of an old girlfriend. A reuniting outing several years back was thwarted by a big snowstorm. Who knows, maybe we'd have gotten back together. Maybe not, but perhaps a meeting would have had some kind of negative impact on my relationship with A. My life changed, at least in a small way by a big snowstorm. A big snowstorm. A big snowstorm.
Yeah, we're supposed to have a big snowstorm today, in fact it was already coming down on my drive in, while I was thinking. And the thoughts lead to Mike. He was killed in a big snowstorm. The last time I saw him - that many of us saw him - was for his birthday dinner. That day, there was a big snowstorm.
While sitting around the tables shoved together upstairs at The Firehouse in Evanston, I looked at Mikey for one of the last times and jokingly said, "I hope you appreciate we all risked our lives to get here tonight!" He assured me, in his flip but genuine way, that yes, he most certainly appreciated it. A week later, he risked his life to visit a friend for a Monday Night Movie Night in yet another big snowstorm. We all fared much better on his birthday - 2 hour drive to Evanston and all.
But it wasn't the snow, or the idea of lives changed/altered/shattered by weather, nor reflecting on the project that did me in. Again, it was a song. This time, R.E.M. One little line from "Leaving New York,"
Well doesn't that just sum it up. And with that, I wept. And sung. And drove through the beginnings of a big snowstorm.
A few addenda:
- Two songs after "Leaving New York," as I was parking my car at work, "The Outsiders" started up :
You took me to the restaurant where we first met
You knocked a future shock crowbar upside my headFirst met. Last met. Crowbar. Lead pipe. Now I'm supposed to work?
- A coworker of mine, on days like this, often brings up the episode of The Simpsons in which a newscaster declares, "The Weather Service has upgraded Springfield's blizzard from 'Winter Wonderland' to a 'Class III Killstorm'." He likes to describe the graphic of a snowman wielding an icicle. Typically, I can shrug it off. Today I wanted to shove an icicle in his eye.
June 16, 2004
Tales From the Undergrad Information Line
I found this somewhere in my archives while I was touching up my Mikey page. I forget where he posted this and how I came across it.
[H]ere are true stories from the information line of Northwestern University Undergraduate Admissions. I guarantee truth. I answered them all.
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* Female Caller: Like, hi! Like, my bestest friend in the whole, total,
entire world is going to Northwestern next year, and like I totally want to like get her something with like the Northwestern colors on it, ya know? So, like, what are your colors?
Me: Purple and White.
FC: Like, totally, what color purple? Like is it a lilac purple, like, or a paisley purple, ya know, or....
Me: (interrupting) Dark purple. The darkest you can find.
FC: Like, totaaly thank you!
-----
*FC: My son was just admitted to Northwestern and I want to get him a
cake with Willie the Wildcat on it. Can you describe him for me?
Me: Describe him?
FC: Yes. Is he a tame wildcat? A ferocious one? How is his paw extended?
Does he growl? Does he have a fearsome look in his eyes? Is his left ear extended all the way out? WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE??
Me: Ummm....I can fax you a copy of his picture if you are near a fax machine?
FC: Well, I don't care about details! Just tell me exactly what he looks like!
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*Me: Good morning, NU Admissions.
Male Caller: Hi. My girlfriend and I were both admitted to NU, and we got our housing forms. Which dorm will let us stay in the same room?
Me: Um, none. All rooms are single sex.
MC: Oh great. She and I will have to break up now.
Me: (confused) I see...
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*MC: What is the profile of your students' class rank.
Me: Well, the top half of our freshamn class is usually in the top 5% of their high school classes.
MC: No. You're wrong. The top 5% of your students were in the top 50% of
their high school classes.
Me: I see, thanks for correcting the Admissions Office.
MC: No problem. Now do you mind if a student is last in his class of 500?
Me: Um, I wouldn't give you high chances of getting in.
MC: What do you folks at Admissions know about applications anyway?
Me: We read them and decide who gets in.
MC: Oh. (hangs up)
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*(Note: this call happened BEFORE the [winning] football season)
MC: I hear you have a good football team out there!
Me: (stifling a laugh) Some would say that.
MC: I wanna come play for you guys!
Me: Great! I'll send you out an application for admission and a course catalog.
MC: Course catalog? I don't want to take classes -- I just want to play football!
Me: Well, there's a direct relationship. To play on the team you must be enrolled at NU and taking classes.
MC: OK. Well, can I just take classes during fall quarter and skip the rest of the year? I'm just gonna take blow-off classes like Intro to Snowblowing anyway.
Me: Er, no. You have to be a full-time student.
MC: WOW! You guys have athletic admission policies like you're an academic school or something.
Me: We're #13 academically in the country.
MC: Oh. (hangs up)
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Hope you like em.....
Mike
Michael Massing mmass@nwu.edu
NU School of Engineering -- Class of 1996
Wearing the Purple with PRIDE!!! -- GO 'CATS!
1995 Big Ten Football Champs
